You're only in port 48 more hours.
Stay on high alert.
Agent Lloyd, we have the most sophisticated security system
ever installed on a seagoing vessel.
And you'll need it.
Excuse me, sir.
There's been a security breach.
Don't move!
Turn around.
Turn around!
- No! - Stan!
Damn it.
The other side!
Just stop him!
Let's do it, come on!
Although the famed Napoleon Diamond was undisturbed,
the unknown intruder knocked out
a Seven Seas Navigator maintenance worker,
stole his uniform, and slipped onto the ship.
You're cheating on me, aren't you?
What are you talking about?
Maybe not with a woman, but with a diamond.
You want her.
And I'm jealous.
You've got nothing to worry about.
Where were you tonight, Max?
I've been home, writing my vows.
Oh! Let me see.
Sorry. You have to wait.
Well, I'm not gonna let that little bitch take my man.
I'm gonna fight for what's mine.
Really?
And how exactly are you gonna do that?
I'm a thief.
I know a thing or two about distraction.
It's a beautiful jewel, Max.
But I guarantee you, it's no fun in the tub.
Mmm.
I had him. You shoulda stayed out of my way.
I didn't want you to get hurt. I'm sorry.
You're the one who's hurt. You should ice that.
Why are men always trying to protect women?
'Cause you smell good.
It's all about sex, isn't it?
Why can't we just be two cops working a case?
Hey, I happen to agree with you.
From now on, we're just partners on this.
Fine.
- So, let's have dinner and discuss it. - No, thanks.
How about a steam?
What... l... no, I always steam with my partners.
Okay, you wanna go for a Jacuzzi, partner?
I have a big tub in my room.
We have to talk.
Max. Great timing. Ride with us.
Can we just do this one on one?
Oh, of course.
California dreaming...
Are you familiar with the pleasures of anonymous love, Max?
No.
Recently I found myself experimenting with alternative lifestyle parameters
based largely on the free love philosophy
as found in the collected works of The Mamas and The Papas.
I never made that connection.
Oh, it's there.
That Michelle Phillips, she could walk it like she talked it.
Earl, burn one of my CDs for Max.
Yes, sir.
This is it, Max.
My vision.
My infrastructure growing before our eyes.
It used to be a children's hospital,
but I'm revitalizing it into a paramilitary training facility.
More importantly, that ship is leaving in two days.
What's this?
Everything you need.
Schematics, detailed plan.
You can do it yourself.
Go in through the air conditioning vents.
The exhibit is accessible from the storage facility behind it.
There's cameras there, so you're gonna have to cut the central feed.
Red wires in the control panel here.
If you don't cut the red wire, they'll see everything.
- What next? - Blow the wall.
- C-4? - Uh-uh.
I'd use a shape charge with a detonation cord.
Smaller but more effective.
And... you'd wanna blow it after 10 P.M.
- Why is that? - Graveyard shift.
Always the retired cops with arthritis.
That's how I'd do it.
Then that's how I'll do it.
You know, we're not partners anymore, Max.
In fact, you see me, cross the street.
You gotta go
Go where you wanna go
Do what you wanna do
With whoever you wanna do it with
You gotta go where you wanna go
Do what you wanna do
With whoever you wanna do it with
You don't understand that a girl like...
Good afternoon. Atlantis. How may I help?
Mr. Lloyd, the Bridge Suite, please.
Hello.
- Stanley. - Yeah.
- It's Max, just checking in. - Cut the crap, Max.
You're making sure I'm in my room and not following you.
How could you be following me if you're in your room?
- See you soon, Stanley. - Okay.
Hello!
What?
If you're gonna forward your calls, don't tail me so close.
Aah!
Hey.
I heard the call over the radio.
Every year there's one white boy that goes down at Junkanoo.
Here's what I found out. Max closed escrow,
and then a month later the cruise booked the diamond.
- Maybe he is retired. - I doubt it.
He met with Henri Mooré today,
the biggest gangster on the island.
Thanks for coming.
You know, this one you really do have to ice.
- Ah! - Oh, I'm sorry.
Better?
There's another one here.
Now?
This one's particularly painful.
There's some referred pain. It's somewhere around... here.
I'll have to get hurt more often.
And in more interesting places.
- Oh, God, I'm vibrating! - So am I.
No. No, no.
- I'm getting a call. - What?
Is nothing sacred?
Shit, I have to go.
Go? No, you can't go. I just unwrapped my head.
Sorry, I need a rain check.
What, are you crazy? It never rains here.
Just give me five minutes, all right?
Five minutes? You should be embarrassed.
Okay, three.
Oh, Stan, come on.
Okay, two! Please don't make me beg. Please.
A quick two?
Oh, don't worry, I'm quick.
Hello.
Mr. Burdett, it's Luc from the bar.
There's a guest down here that's bombed that's shouting your name.
Welcome to paradise, Frank!
Well, it's only paradise for criminals, like Max Burdett.
Yeah. I hear him. I'll be right there.
- Where'd he go? - Over there.
Oh, thanks, Luc.
What are you doing to yourself? What's wrong?
- Nothing. - Nothing's wrong?
Me and Sophie hooked up.
And it was beautiful.
But it's only gonna last for one more day.
Why is that?
Because the ship's only gonna be here 24 more hours,
and you're gonna clip Napoleon III
and make me look like a jerk again.
- I'll have another one! - You've had enough.
You are not my daddy.
I didn't take you as an umbrella kind of guy, Stan.
These remoras really have a kick to 'em.
Hey, Stan, buck up. You're a good agent.
No, I'm not.
You know, I used to blame you, but now I see it clearly.
It's not you, it's me.
You've got genius, man.
If I had an ounce of what you have, I'd never stop.
You've got a gift, man. It's inspiring.
I love these remoras!
Bartender! Give me another one!
It's okay, Stan. It's okay.
Luc, you're not working tonight, right? Give us a hand here.
Come on, Stan, here you go. Come on.
Here you go, buddy. Yeah.
Come on, come on.
What about me?!
That's it, Stanley.
Here you go.
That's it.
That's it. Here we go.
You tell anyone I tucked him in, I'll kill you.
- Sure thing, Mr. Burdett. - Call me Max.
- Max. - Okay.
Lola!
It's locked. And don't try to break in.
You're not welcome.
I finished the deck.
You promised to spend the first sunset on it together.
- Lola. - That's not all.
I found your notebook.
Lola.
I'll sit down right now and write my vows, okay?
The vows are not for me, they're for you.
You have to figure out if what we have means anything to you.
Come on, Max.
Do you really think the third one's gonna make you whole?
- I don't know. - Well, don't come back until you do.
Where am I supposed to go?
She threw me out.
Why is it my problem?
'Cause every hotel on the island is booked.
Can I move this surveillance stuff?
Don't mess with it! It's very expensive.
Listen, I'm not gonna sleep on the floor.
Well, I guess you're out of luck.
We both are.
Move over.
Shit.
So what'd you do?
I missed our first sunset on her new deck.
That's it?
I'm no good at sunsets.
Of course you're not.
The world is divided up between people who like to watch the sunset
and those who don't.
Yeah.
People like you are never happy.
You're anxious, type-A, egocentric perfectionists who can't sit still
and die alone with a million bucks and a thousand regrets.
The people who can relax, enjoy the sunset,
hold hands at the end of the day... they're the happy ones.
So why can't you do that?
Because of you.
Don't hog the blanket.
- Good night, Max. - Good night.
You know, the Bureau's got a ''don't ask, don't tell'' policy,
but this is pushing it, Stan.
Kowalski, Stafford.
Sophie?
The L.A. Office got a call from Inspector Bethel here.
He wanted to know the scope of the FBI's operation on the island.
Since we don't have an operation on the island,
we felt we'd come here and check it out.
What's he talking about, Stan?
Let me explain.
He's on suspension. He has been for three months.
Suspension?
He was deemed unstable after he lost Napoleon II.
You told me you were here on the case.
I am here on the case,
and once I bust this guy, get reinstated, upped,
these slobs will be saluting me.
Are you guys dating?
He's nothing but a suspect to me.
- Oh, really? - That's not what these show.
Your suspect's paying for this suite.
And the seaweed body wraps.
You two look pretty chummy.
So you lied to me, Stan.
And you got your slice of paradise, hmm?
I hope it was everything you thought it would be.
Sophie...
You might want to do more of a background check next time
before you partner up.
She didn't have to be so hard on you, you know?
Storming out like that.
She's got grounds.
The thing you gotta understand about us law enforcement types
is we don't much appreciate lying.
Come on, Stan, you fibbed, maybe withheld a little.
But lie? Nah.
You are an FBI agent working a case.
You know, when you put it like that, it doesn't sound so bad.
I could explain it to her.
What about you?
You are a hell of a catch.
I've seen the way you are with Lola.
You love that girl.
So you're working out some personal issues.
All you need is a little support.
Exactly.
Hell, I could make her understand.
Max can't eat, can't sleep.
He's like an injured bird.
Stan's hurt. He's in pain.
He's like a wounded dog.
He needs you, Lola. You're his better half.
Just give him one more chance.
He's a good guy, Sophie.
I'm sure he's a liar, but that comes with the job.
I don't know. This is all a bit strange.
What do you think, Lola?
- I don't buy a word of it. - I'm with you.
- No, no, no. - Hey, hey, hey.
- Listen, hear us out. - Come on, one second.
Look...
Tonight the lies stop.
He's serious. It's over.
He's not chasin' it, and I'm not chasin' him.
I'm sorry, but I won't believe you until that ship is gone.
And we still got a few hours before she sails.
Look, I can't make that ship disappear tonight,
but I can make us disappear.
- What are you talking about? - I found a hobby.
Wait a minute. You didn't tell me about this.
When we come up for air,
that ship will be headed to Paris and the diamond will be gone forever.
So, where you taking us?
We're headed to a hidden reef where there's rumored to be
100 million in gold somewhere among the wreckage.
You're kidding.
Wow!
Look at this.
Yeah, these ships have been down here since the '40s,
but nobody's ever found any gold.
Well, maybe with the help of the FBI we'll get lucky.
My money's on Max.
100 million four ways... that's 25 million apiece if we split it.
Have any idea where to start?
It could be anywhere down here. Let's split up, look around.
You guys sure this is safe? I'm allergic to shellfish.
You've got nothing to worry about. I've seen how you handle sharks.
When we get back, I'm buying everyone umbrella drinks.
Hey, little guy, have you seen any gold down here?
Hey, Max, I'm counting on you to make me a rich man.
Lola, hypothetically speaking,
what's it like to hold 25 million in your hands?
I have no idea what you're talking about.
Right.
- Good night, old-timer. - Eat shit.
What the hell is that?
There is an intruder in Storage Facility B.
- Attempted break-in in progress. - Son of a bitch!
All security to Storage Facility B.
Hey, Max.
What's up?
Where are you?
Oh, I'm somewhere inside the ship.
Oh, yeah, me too. Thanks, that helps a lot.
Max, did you say you were inside the ship?
Yeah, it's amazing.
Hmm. Really? What do you see?
It's pretty dark. I think I'm in the captain's quarters.
That's interesting.
Max, suddenly I don't feel like having an umbrella drink.
I'm beginning to think we're gonna go home empty-handed.
Where are you, Max? I'm gonna come hunt with you a while.
I'm coming to you.
How you see me? I cut the red wire.
Ah, nice work, genius. You cut the heating to the Jacuzzi.
Max, you at the stern?
Max?
Stan Lloyd to Max Burdett. Come in.
Who'd he think he was, the Invisible Man?
Dear God.
Shit.
It was a diversion. Get back to the diamond!
Max, where are you?
Will you answer me?
Hello!
There!
He's in the vents! He got the diamond!
Max, what was that?
Max!
I think he left his radio.
I thought I heard something else.
Where'd you go? Is something wrong?
Nice costume.
- Thanks. - You're welcome.
Party all the time, party all the time
Party all the time
My girl wants to party all the time...
Go back to your cabin, please.
Aha, there you are!
Hey, Max, come on.
Last night we were spooning. Now you're running away?
Come on!
Yoo-hoo, Max.
Oh, I get it. A little hide-and-seek.
Like I told you on the boat, I caught 'em all.
You're good, but you're not that good.
You know what they say... the FBI always gets their man.
Max!
I'm having an air problem!
Stan, are you okay?
I can't breathe! Help!
Where are you, Stan?
I'm coming, Stan.
It's okay, Stan. I'm right here.
Take off your mask.
I got him, honey.
I'm right here.
You're okay, Stan.
Nothing to worry about, partner.
I saw my life flash before my eyes.
Leave it to me to get the faulty regulator.
You know, I never dove before.
- I would like to propose a toast. - What are we celebrating?
Retirement.
- I'll drink to that. - Good.
Hello.
What?
How?
- What's wrong? - The diamond's been stolen.
- What? - Half an hour ago.
You set us up.
Come on.
This whole thing.
You got your perfect alibi... me.
Hey.
Get your hands up.
Are you serious?
No wonder you just retired.
You don't have anything left to steal.
I've got to get to the ship.
You couldn't resist, could you?
You had to screw me one last time.
You had to make an ass out of me!
Hey, Lola. Lola, wait.
Hey.
You really did save me down there.
I'm sorry I kept you in the dark. I was only trying to protect you.
How generous of you.
You were right, you know. I couldn't do it without you.
You gotta admit, though, the look on Stan's face was sheer poetry.
Shut up, Max.
Hey.
Lola, please.
Max, I helped you because I love you.
But now I'm leaving you.
Lola, I thought you'd appreciate how I did it,
you of all people. Hey, hey.
I do. It was a smart plan, Max.
You're a great thief.
But I want a great man.
Lola.
Move inside.
What, you thought this was over? Turn around!
I tried to deal with you from an elevated place, man,
appeal to your intellect, spit poetry and shit at you.
But no, man, you had to bring me down to the gutter.
Where is the diamond?
- She's got nothing to do with this. - Oh, she does now.
You kill my dog, I'm gonna slay your cat.
Don't get...
Aah!
Nice throw, bitch!
No!
Where'd you come from?
He asked me to help him steal it a week ago. I turned him down.
He must have stolen it himself,
then he came back here to make sure there were no loose ends.
So why didn't you come to me, tell me what they were planning?
He said he'd kill us.
You wouldn't have believed him anyway.
You thought Mooré was the Second Coming for this island.
Don't tell me what I think, woman.
- Where's the diamond? - I have no idea.
- They were trying to frame us. - Are we finished here?
You know, I don't believe a word of what you're saying.
I know.
Don't leave.
Good luck, Max.
Lola, wait.
Hear me out.
It's not gonna work, Max. Not this time.
I know it's too late, but I finally wrote them. See?
Lots of words.
But I don't need to read them because I know it by heart.
I've spent my whole life chasing things which I thought were valuable,
when the only thing I really cared for was right in front of me all along.
You are my heart, Lola.
From this moment on, you are my only jewel.
I want a life filled with sunsets.
And I never wanna watch one of them without you, not ever.
The first diamond I've ever bought.
I love you, Lola Cirillo.
Marry me.
- On one condition. - Anything.
I want the receipt.
Here you go, Luc.
- Thank you. - Thank you.
Jack on the rocks, with an umbrella. What the hell, I'm celebrating.
Forget the Jack on the rocks, let's have remoras all around.
Remoras all around.
Stanley, what the hell are you doing here?
Well, I thought I'd stick around.
Oh, yeah, look familiar?
Treated myself, maxed out the credit card.
But it suits me, don't you think?
Well, it must take a bite out of a government salary.
Ah, I can afford it all right.
Come on, let's sip our remoras and talk, shall we?
I thought you said these things have a kick.
Luc, what's in this?
Orange juice, mango juice, grenadine, and coconut milk.
No liquor?
Nada.
I love these remoras!
Bartender, give me another!
You tell anyone I tucked him in, I'll kill you.
- Sure thing, Mr. Burdett. - Call me Max.
- Max. - Okay.
You know, I really like that cove.
Are you okay? 'Cause you don't look too good.
As an underwater enthusiast, you should know what a remora really is, Max.
A remora is kind of a stowaway,
a suckerfish that sticks to the shark's body and feeds off it.
The shark does all the work,
but the remora gets the spoils.
You did it, Stan.
Right from the start.
It's the only one you two haven't stolen.
You set me up.
I revel in it. I revel in it!
Could it be that the great Max Burdett has finally lost?
No, I didn't.
I got Lola.
Congratulations, Stan.
I'm looking at it right now.
My plane takes off in ten minutes.
Tomorrow morning the bidding will start at $30 million,
and if I were you, I'd bring cash.
You win some, you lose some.
We still have the sunsets.
Yeah.
Don't worry, one day you'll find a hobby.
You know, I think I already have.
Bye-bye, paradise.
No.
No!
Max!
No, you bastard!
Last time, right, Max?
Last time.
You son of a bitch!
Max!
Subs synced by RizzzO
I've got it
Oh, whoa
If you want it, come and get it
I've got it
Oh, whoa
If you need it, come and get it
I've got it
Ahh
I'm a pro when it comes to the getaway
So don't even try to follow me
Bonnie and Clyde, me and my lady
Right on down to the end of the story
I'm wanted in so many countries
Not even the feds can catch me
'Cause I am made to run
In this profession there is no other like me
If you want it, come and get it
I've got it
Oh, whoa
If you need it, come and get it
I've got it
Oh, whoa
If you want it, come and get it
I've got it
Oh, whoa
If you need it, come and get it
I've got it
Oh, yeah
What you think you saw, you did not see
'Cause it's so easy for me
To get away from sharks and security
I love to challenge my ability
So never underestimate me
I'm versatile with agility
Don't you be surprised if you lose the prize
'Cause I've done this before
If you want it, come and get it
I've got it
Oh, whoa
If you need it, come and get it
I've got it
Oh, yeah
Yo
To all the ladies in the dance
To each and every princess
Hey, ah, ha, ah
Yo, confess
I lose all control when I see you standing there in front of me
Your style, your clothes, your hair
Hey, woman, you look so sexy
The way you wind and the way you dance
And the way that you twist and turn your waist
Leaves me wanting, leaves me yearning
Leaves me feeling for a taste
Before the end of the night
I wanna hold you so tight
So tight
You know I want you so much
So much
And I'm so tempted to touch
Yo, uh, uh
Tempted to touch, tempted to touch
My little woman, man, I need you so much
Tempted to touch, tempted to touch
My little woman, man, I'm inside your clutch
Tempted to touch, tempted to touch
My little woman, man, I need you so much
Tempted to touch, tempted to touch
My little woman, man, I'm inside your clutch
Yo
To all the ladies in the dance
I'm lookin' at these ladies
Thinkin' about one of them havin' my babies, huh
I don't even know your name
Little woman, I don't even know your age
But there's somethin' about you, girl
When I see you winding in front the stage
I'm talkin' about you
Please forgive me, please excuse me
But there is nothing else that a man can do
Excuse me
I can't help myself, little woman
I just need to be next to you
Before the end of the night
Before the end of the night, huh
I wanna hold you so tight
Wanna hold you
You know I want you so much
Want you so much, huh
And I'm so tempted to touch
Come on, huh
Tempted to touch, tempted to touch
My little woman, man, I need you so much
Tempted to touch, tempted to touch
My little woman, man, I'm inside your clutch
Tempted to touch, tempted to touch
My little woman, man, I need you so much
Na na na-na-na-na na-na
Yeah
She's got the touch I love so much
That's all I ever wanted
I'm surely God-blessed
Uh, under her spell she had me crushed
I sworn I was anointed
Got caught by her magic
Ah, she had me drooling for a while
With her sexual motion
Like taking candy from a child
Suck on her love potion
I can't believe the changes I've made
Since I met my baby
You know, she drive me crazy
On and on
What a beautiful lady
On and on
She drives me crazy
On an on
And there's no ifs nor maybes, she goes
On and on
Yeah-eah
Like a volcano she erupt
Blowing up my pager
Every minute, every hour
Whoo-whoo, yeah
I realize she likes my stuff
I chose the right flavor
This moment I will savor
Lord
I've never trusted pretty smiles
'Cause looks are deceivin'
Sexy want my love profound
Some pretty girls are misleading
Lesson learned, don't judge a book
By looking at the cover
You know, she drive me crazy